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there was a cute guy in an acura parked across from me, so i pulled up my long skirt, exposing my long legs and my panty-covered butt, and leaned far over into my car while i pretended to look for something. i hope that he enjoyed the show!
xxx
The look on dad’s face was priceless when mom said since he was such a limp dick loser that from now on she was going to start fucking me and my brother whenever we wanted. I told her, “Take your big natural tits out mom,” and she did! She asked
When I saw what he had been hiding from me I couldn’t help but begin to seduce my daughter’s boyfriend
When I was a freshman in high school, I was only five feet tall and really scrawny. As a result, I was bullied for it by the other boys constantly. One day, a six foot tall senior named Eric gave me a black eye. I tried to hide it from my mom but
*peeks out from behind door* Ah so I woke up and let me puppy out to pee, leaving the door open, and closed my eyes on the couch … then a few mins later I wa alike I have to pee I’ll get up now…I open my eyes and right in front of me was
Ugh no omo but 2 days ago I got “white boy wasted” and after was like omg I’m not drinking again for another month……….And now my mom is dragging me to this concert I don’t want to go to (while still nursing this hangover)
When I was able to get away from my mom I had one more quick wet and inspected to make sure I was still dry!… it was only until I was changing my diaper I realized I must of leaked some… super good thing I have long sweaters jdndkdkd gah!!
fecundism: fecundism: fecundism: my mom told me that if i dont stop taking the hormones i have to find another place to live hey im not asking for money (yet) but if u all could please pass this around to see if anyone knows anyone or anything that could
urtube: h0llo: boychic: kaijuleng: tattoosfade: oppressionisntrad: anarchist-memes: We are forced to live in a system that steals from us daily, Kill snitch culture. Important things to keep in mind! - never take from ‘mom and pop’ type store.
rossdraws: Here’s the final painting from yesterday’s episode! Shoutout to my mom for helping me with it and for always dealing with my shenanigans :)
Words from my mother, “You liked your own picture? Dumb ass. I got 14 people to like mine you have yourself. It’s on like donkey kong!”
melodyless: Thats a preview from me as Armin in his Child Version. There will be more pictures with my Eren, his mom and Mikasa on the end of this month. Hope you like it a little >////<°
fuckyeahtattoos: As a child I made my mom to rent My Neighbor Totoro from Blockbuster at least once a week until she finally bought me my own copy. Done by James Cumberland at Sunday Tattoo Gallery in Jacksonville, FL
my mom’s purchasing my birthday gift aka a ticket to the hamilton musical. vibrating intermittently from now until january
So now after knowing my mom broke her shoulder bone this morning, I was approached by two religious ladies at the station on my way to home from grocery run.“Excuse me but do you know that Jesus really loves you?”Naturally I was polite and
icoulduseinsouciantmaybe: #i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me
lexicution3r: lexicution3r: my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate. “How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?” “How is there NO CHOCOLATE???” “DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM
wildemolga replied to your post: One of my all-time favorite books sinc… I actually worked where that book takes place! I live really close to it (long islander born and raised, huehue) That’s so awesome! From what I recall, the author
stevencrewniverse:JUST A FEW HOURS AWAY FROM A BRAND NEW EPISODE OF STEVEN UNIVERSE!!!!“Open Book” written and storyboarded by Hilary Florido and Katie Mitroff airs TODAY at 5PMNEW TIME! 5 PM! CHANGE YOUR PLANS ACCORDINGLY!
I’m listening to my music on shuffle and ‘Sun’ from the SH3 OST came on and its so trippy to listen to now because the voice Mary Elizabeth McGlynn uses for it is nearly identical to the one she uses for Connie’s mom so now, to me, it just sounds
paternal-instinct: Dad reminds me every night where I came from. He fucked my mom nonstop, constantly filling her up with gallons of his cream. He has enough to fill lakes, possibly oceans, and it’s all thanks to those luscious balls. He’s more fertile
bk1959: bk1959: Mom Monica and Me.. To my other mom Helen.Love from all three of us..
I’m too scared to look at my back account because I wanna buy stuff from the Nintendo eShop, but I think after my mom bought useless wedding shit i’m scared to look at my account ;A; can someone be with me and hold my hand?
rossdraws: Widowmaker from yesterday’s Episode! Big thank you to my mom for helping me out. Enjoy and Happy Halloween guys! :D
My mom was cleaning and found an artifact from my weeaboo days
iancredible: “How would you ask a girl to marry you? Just wondering c:” You see this ring right here? I found that ring when I was 7. Me and my mom were coming home from the mall and as I stepped out of the passenger seat, the sunlight shined on
veganpizzafuckyeah: reblogged from lilbuckdalegend: Me and my mom about to handle this #veganpizza right now!!! Family bonding!
post from last night since my computer was weird and i was tired
mommywithacrush: pervertedson: be shipwrecked on a deserted island next to my mom, It has been the best thing that has happened to me in my whole life. Being able to be open lovers, without having to hide from a disapproving society, has a very
chatterboxrose: adorkabubble: Jane Lynch, Cory Monteith, and Darren Criss at the Fox Upfronts in NYC from David Boreanaz’s twitter. OH MY GOD LET ME DIE. I’M TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO MY MOM WHY I’M FREAKING OUT.
danisontnonfire: nebranska:THIS IS THE BEST VINE I’VE SEEN me asking my mom to get me something from the store Ugh my twin brother, and people think we’re supposed to be telepathically connected.
breinwoestijn: fionaohanlon: I sent this photo to my mom, she told me it gave her a heart attack and “for the arts” is not a valid excuse for my friends and i falling off a 12 story building. Is that tennisguy from instagram lol
wtfzeus: book-of-thieves-private: wtfzeus: Not Zeus, but still hilarious and also relevant to your interests im crying from laugther and my mom is asking me to be quiet HOW CAN YOUR MOTHER NOT FIND THIS SHIT HILARIOUS!!?!!!
berandomness:I dislike appliances that cannot be leaned against This post brought to you by my mom’s new stove that beeped at me when I leaned against it
sagihairius: Me and my mom were waiting in this long line so we told jokes to kill time and the girl behind me went “totally stole that from tumblr. Sagihairius said that like 2 days ago.” I really hope she sees this
Roses are red, violets are blue, my mom is dead, so fuck all of you. This woman, for you, bled don’t you love her too? Mother’s day shouldn’t be a dread, just show her love from you, for gifts you don’t have to tread, love her
His answer shocked me, even though I did see him texting as we walked from his house to his car. I didn’t know why I was disappointed. I hated how honest he was. “Oh, okay.” He finally pulled up to my mom’s on 4th, not far at all from him. “Aye.”
titenoute: hiddlesherethereeverywhere: pr1nceshawn: Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life. THIS IS IMPORTANT When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret
bullysexualizesmommy: I have to admit, my bully’s perverted antics have also benefitted me whenever my mom’s not the subject of the perversion. Here is one of the hotter teachers from our school who I’ve had a crush on for the longest time.
right before i left for work earlier, my mom’s boyfriend was about to start cooking. mac & cheese was mentioned when i asked what he was making. i pretty much threatened to beat his ass if there wasn’t any when i got home from work.
brainsand-gains: I was talking to my mom earlier saying how I want to go skydiving ‘Kasia don’t you dare. You’re gonna die. Don’t do dis to me. Do you have nothing better to do?’ And then a couple hours later I get a text from my friend,
Happy birthday to my mom. Someone who I could not live without. She has been there for me no matter what. Has always let me be me, even if sometimes it’s not a good thing. I have learned so much from you and I continue to learn everyday. I love
tomhiddlestonswife: Me wanting to be white when i was younger is self-hate, internalized racism, wishing that i wasn’t indian because i got made fun of because of the clothes i wore, the language i shied away from, the food my mom packed for lunch
My Mom is about to get out the shower and get ready for work and she gonna see me sitting in the same position from when she got in the shower she’s gonna whoop my butt :(
robotmango: i assume that, like, all of nyc is in on a conspiracy to hide the truth about blunt force head trauma from daredevil. like, to… protect his feelings??? the cops must be like “oh, yeah buddy, you really dinged those bad guys up! they’ll
MY MOM AND I WERE WATCHING TV TOGETHER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE YELLS “UPDATE” AND I LITERALLY JUMP TO LOOK AT MY LAPTOP’S SCREEN AND THEN SHE STARTS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT ME WHEN I DID THAT AND SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD GET AWAY FROM
lotus-eatr: all I want for my birthday is a membership to ancestry.com tbh
smutykins: My baby brother doesn’t latch on to my moms nipples very well, so in order for her to continue pumping for him she has me drink from her amazing breasts! The milk is sooooo good I hate to share.
erenjaegrrr: offendedsanta: YOU ARE NOT GPING TO BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DID OKAY I JUST WOKE UP TO MY MOM SHAKING ME GOING “wtf are you doing” AND IT TURNS OUT I WAS SLEEPWALKING AND I BAKED HALFWAY DECEBT SUGAR COOKIES FROM FUCKING SCRATCH THIS IS
Talking to my laptop (Morty) Me: Morty, there are three main rules in life you must Learn. One: Don’t talk to strangers, they will use you, keep away from them, especially my mom. Two: Obey. I am your master, you may call me master, you can only
sleetgeekartist replied to your post: how do I stop my dad from walking in on me while… Was the door closed? yes and I always have headphones on so I never hear him! he sneaks in so quietly I swear!!
themasterfreak: gaghermouth: PLEASE sir I’m begging you! Don’t make me taste my mom’s feet! Those are the socks that she goes running in! How delicious. She is already so weak from struggling that it is going to be impossible for her to resist.
DON’T YOU KNOW THAT THERES AINT NO MOUNTAIN HIGHHH ENOUGHHHHHHHHHH~ blasting this song from my mom’s computer because im home alone and i can
what i meant in that last post is that i asked my mom for the pokemon black and white game and she says i have too many games so i ain’t getting it sobs
i start to question my love for food when my mom comes back home from shopping and gives my sister some small perfumes and then gives me a bag of fresh french bread that i then proceed to hug close in happiness
i walked in on my mom watching a korean drama as usual but when i look to the t.v. i see a familar face, point to the screen, and go me:SOOYOUNG mom: what me: SOOYOUNG mom: what?? me: thats sooyoung mom: oh yea shes a singer me: SHES FROM GIRLS GENERATION
